please help

[chicagobasba]

Hi everyone I hope your having a great Sunday! I would like to ask if you could open up your hearts and wallets or purses to help out a friend who lost her husband in a tragic event last Saturday. Amy is now left with 2 children age 1 and 3. Any donation would be much appreciated and thanks to those that do

http://www.giveforward.com/anthonyhensleymemorialfund

[Prince Of Dorkness]

How much of a dick would I be if I pointed out that when my marriage is legal in all 50 states, I'll start to give a shit about someone else's?

If I was killed and someone took to the Internet asking for help for my husband and our kids, you think you'd raise $30k?

Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer.

[hedonist]

How much of a dick would I be if I pointed out that when my marriage is legal in all 50 states, I'll start to give a shit about someone else's?

If I was killed and someone took to the Internet asking for help for my husband and our kids, you think you'd raise $30k?

Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer.

Honest answer, Debbie? Pretty dick-ish, since you asked.

What does this have to do with marraige to begin with, let alone gay marriage?

I'm trying to understand how you could tie someone's personal tragedy to that.

And if I missed something here, please let me know.

Compassion is compassion, to me and I believe to many others. Most folks give from that place and really don't give a fuck who someone else loves. You seem to underestimate that in people, at least from what I've seen.

And yeah, I'm pretty sure that way much more than 30K would be raised if something similar happened to you or your family.

[Prince Of Dorkness]

Maybe.

I guess with the current anti-marriage equality campaigns in full force in north Carolina, Maine, Washington, Iowa and Missouri, I'm kinda sick of looking at pictures of "traditional" families smiling at me and asking for cash.

I knew I was kinda being a dick. At the same time, why is it that people seem to reward couples who have kids they can't afford? Why did he not have life insurance? I agonized over how I would pay for the abandoned puppy that I rescued and now someone is asking for money to look after someone else's kids.

And no.... I'm pretty sure that if the same happened to a lesbian couple, the reaction would be very different. AND in most states, if it was the biological mother of the kids who died, they'd be taken from their home and put into foster care or given to another care giver. So seeing stuff like this kinda cuts to the bone.

I reserve the right to be a dick once per month. It's in my contract.

[your move now]

if you don't want to give money don't
but this isn't a marriage equality issue - don't turn it into one

[brianlux]

Maybe.

I guess with the current anti-marriage equality campaigns in full force in north Carolina, Maine, Washington, Iowa and Missouri, I'm kinda sick of looking at pictures of "traditional" families smiling at me and asking for cash.

I knew I was kinda being a dick. At the same time, why is it that people seem to reward couples who have kids they can't afford? Why did he not have life insurance? I agonized over how I would pay for the abandoned puppy that I rescued and now someone is asking for money to look after someone else's kids.

And no.... I'm pretty sure that if the same happened to a lesbian couple, the reaction would be very different. AND in most states, if it was the biological mother of the kids who died, they'd be taken from their home and put into foster care or given to another care giver. So seeing stuff like this kinda cuts to the bone.

I reserve the right to be a dick once per month. It's in my contract.

I did support this family and would do the same for you, Prince. You do make some good points, but I'd say it's definitely the wrong thread to do it in.

[Prince Of Dorkness]

I did support this family and would do the same for you, Prince. You do make some good points, but I'd say it's definitely the wrong thread to do it in.

And again... I kinda knew that. But if you can't make nasty jabs at people who aren't around to defend themselves on the internet, where CAN you?

(and to my other question... why do people with kids not have life insurance? Am I just being idealistic to expect people not to have kids unless they know they're able to provide for them?)

[brianlux]

(and to my other question... why do people with kids not have life insurance? Am I just being idealistic to expect people not to have kids unless they know they're able to provide for them?)

I'm glad my wife thought of that. My step kid's covered. Me, I just never had one- but I've been a rent-a dad off and on.

In any case, helping out the folks here even a little is a good thing. It all adds up.

[hedonist]

And again... I kinda knew that. But if you can't make nasty jabs at people who aren't around to defend themselves on the internet, where CAN you?

(and to my other question... why do people with kids not have life insurance? Am I just being idealistic to expect people not to have kids unless they know they're able to provide for them?)

I figured as much. But if you can't call out people who make sometimes-ridiculous comments on the internet, where CAN you?

As to your other question, agreed - no, it's not idealism, it's being realistic. I too expect folks to be responsible for the choices they make and if they have to, deal with the repercussions of those decisions.

That said, I have no idea why there wasn't life insurance in place for this man but I'm not about to condemn his family for that and for needing help in the aftermath of his death.

In the end, I think this is what it comes down to, at the least in this case:

In any case, helping out the folks here even a little is a good thing. It all adds up.

[Who Princess]

Prince, I'm usually on your side but I think you're taking this particular situation in the wrong direction.

I also agree that people need to be responsible for the children they bring into the world but I can't completely fault the family for not having life insurance, at least in the present economy. As sensible a thing as insurance is, there could be many reasons why they didn't have it. It's no reason not to be compassionate.

[Jason P]

How much of a dick would I be ...

On a scale of 1 to 25 ....

[Prince Of Dorkness]

OK, people.... I already acknowledged that I was being a dick and was totally out of line.

I also explained that I'm kinda tired of being told on one side that I shouldn't be a father while often the same people turn around and ask me to help care for, raise and pay for their kids.

while yes... I was a total jerk there, the sentiment I think remains the same. While it's sad that there are kids that grow up without a father... while he was alive, he and his wife should have made plans for this. This is the wrong venue to bring that up... but like I acknowledged... I was being a dick.

[Who Princess]

As my band says, "you are forgiven."

[Sea]

1. This thread has derailed. Please see the Posting Guidelines especially rule #1.
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2. This is a duplicate thread and the original thread has been moved to the appropriate forum
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