*** Jokes of the Day!! ***

[Nothingman54]

Husband and wife shopping at Wal-Mart. Husband picks up a case of beer and puts it in the cart. The wife asks what he is doing. He says that the beer is on sale. 24 cans for $10. She says that they cannot afford that so he puts it back. A few isles later the wife puts a $20 tube of face cream in the cart. The husband asks what's that for. The wife says it makes her face pretty. The husband says "so does 24 cans of beer and its half the price."
Clean up in isle 26. Husband down!

[pandora]

Husband and wife shopping at Wal-Mart. Husband picks up a case of beer and puts it in the cart. The wife asks what he is doing. He says that the beer is on sale. 24 cans for $10. She says that they cannot afford that so he puts it back. A few isles later the wife puts a $20 tube of face cream in the cart. The husband asks what's that for. The wife says it makes her face pretty. The husband says "so does 24 cans of beer and its half the price."
Clean up in isle 26. Husband down!

added pic

[dimitrispearljam]

guy woke up ,lives in a village ,and see from his window a funeral pass
go outside and see his friend,Billy alone behind the car with 2 coffins,and behind him around 300 people all men and one behind the other ,in a line
wtf.he dress quickly go to billy and says,
-hey bro what happen?
-my wife man.died last night...
-really?how?
-our dog attack her..
-fuck,and the other coffin?
-my mother in law,died yesterday too..our dog kill her too..
r-eally man?ok,can you please give me your dog for a couple of days?
-sorry man,there is a line for that,u must go in the end

[davidtrios]

guy woke up ,lives in a village ,and see from his window a funeral pass
go outside and see his friend,Billy alone behind the car with 2 coffins,and behind him around 300 people all men and one behind the other ,in a line
wtf.he dress quickly go to billy and says,
-hey bro what happen?
-my wife man.died last night...
-really?how?
-our dog attack her..
-fuck,and the other coffin?
-my mother in law,died yesterday too..our dog kill her too..
r-eally man?ok,can you please give me your dog for a couple of days?
-sorry man,there is a line for that,u must go in the end

[Jukee]

Husband and wife shopping at Wal-Mart. Husband picks up a case of beer and puts it in the cart. The wife asks what he is doing. He says that the beer is on sale. 24 cans for $10. She says that they cannot afford that so he puts it back. A few isles later the wife puts a $20 tube of face cream in the cart. The husband asks what's that for. The wife says it makes her face pretty. The husband says "so does 24 cans of beer and its half the price."
Clean up in isle 26. Husband down!

BAHAHAHAHA! Thanks for that

[davidtrios]

Husband and wife shopping at Wal-Mart. Husband picks up a case of beer and puts it in the cart. The wife asks what he is doing. He says that the beer is on sale. 24 cans for $10. She says that they cannot afford that so he puts it back. A few isles later the wife puts a $20 tube of face cream in the cart. The husband asks what's that for. The wife says it makes her face pretty. The husband says "so does 24 cans of beer and its half the price."
Clean up in isle 26. Husband down!

BAHAHAHAHA! Thanks for that

classic

[pandora]

Did you hear about the new "Divorce Barbie"?
It comes with all of Ken's stuff

What does Kenny G say when he walks into an elevator?
"This place rocks!"

What is Iraq's national bird?
Duck

Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men?
It changes your blood type

Q. Why do chicken coops have two doors?
A. Because if it had four doors it's be a chicken sedan.

A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn-signal fluid."

[FrankieG]

A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn-signal fluid."

Never get tired of blonde jokes

[pandora]

Happy B-day D!!

Blonde Logic


January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down.

September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!

December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!

What a year!!

Have a good one!

[Nothingman54]

A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure a very attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off. When he is fully undressed she instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then takes all of her clothes off and climbs on top and has her way with him. Upon the completion of the act the man catches his breath and asks what that was all about. The nurse informs the patient that studies have shown that before a vasectomy if the man has an ejaculation, he will be more relaxed and that the vasec is easier for the surgeon to locate and sever, thereby making the surgery safer, more efficient and quicker.

The nurse then wheels the patient to the operating room. While they are going down the hall the patient looks through a window to the right and sees six men in a room masturbating. Curious, the man asks "What are they doing in there"?

The nurse responds, "They are getting vasectomies too, but you have Blue Cross and they have ObamaCare. 

[pandora]

A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure a very attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off. When he is fully undressed she instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then takes all of her clothes off and climbs on top and has her way with him. Upon the completion of the act the man catches his breath and asks what that was all about. The nurse informs the patient that studies have shown that before a vasectomy if the man has an ejaculation, he will be more relaxed and that the vasec is easier for the surgeon to locate and sever, thereby making the surgery safer, more efficient and quicker.

The nurse then wheels the patient to the operating room. While they are going down the hall the patient looks through a window to the right and sees six men in a room masturbating. Curious, the man asks "What are they doing in there"?

The nurse responds, "They are getting vasectomies too, but you have Blue Cross and they have ObamaCare. 

who thinks this stuff up

[LoveOnTwoLegs]

How do small children travel??











Mini Vans!

[LoveOnTwoLegs]

What kind of teeth can you buy for a dollar?









Buck Teeth!

[pandora]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqHPqTDHxJs

[pandora]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QC0yfREB ... re=related