okay, so a friend of mine was telling me about the hours of enjoyment he got from reading the Jeff Ament basketball thread and how it started to remind him of the Chuck Norris style claims (with similar levels of incredulity)
so, that made me think of STONE (what doesn't tho???) and a more modest level of accomplishments...(not because he is less capable but because of his very STONE-ishness)
with that intro I humbly submit:
"Stone Gossard... tailored my grandma's pantsuit."
"Stone Gossard... churned an entire Amish community's butter in 2 hours"
IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.