Prose & Cons

[hedonist]

Lesson learned, this Wednesday night coming on 10pm in the city of supposed angels:

Writing while high, excellent.

Posting what was written while high?

Worthy of saving as a draft and second-thoughting it the next day.

Still, fun as all-fuck

[zarocat]

Girl Before a Mirror

I hung this print on the bedroom wall more than 20 years ago, when I first bought my (now mine and his) little home.



At the time and in years since, I've loved it for showing how distorted, how...off...our self-perceptions can be. In our reflection, do we see who we want to see, be, who we think we are? And where is the truth in that muck?

Now I look at that creation (the print, and myself), and see one side of me as the one looking in - probably the one who will always feel a child, a teenager, not even close to adulthood - and the other one who actually SEES herself, for better and worse...continually smacked in the face by lessons by which to (try and) learn and be humbled.

oh and this face!

Smile-lines, cry-lines,
life-lines.

Life.

I like how there are times when I can be on either side of that glass,to reflect, in and out.

And smile.

For whatever reason, my heart 'dropped' after reading this.

[hedonist]

For whatever reason, my heart 'dropped' after reading this.

Here is to its rising.

[hedonist]

All Five Horizons

(all the precious moments)

Easiest one to begin with - touch.


From him holding me close to the point of "jeez, dad!" - embarrassed and at those awkward ages, too quick to shrug him off. But bless him, always over-hugged with his love, pride. Extra squeezes.

He did this from when I was a child to adult.

As an adult, I reveled in it - finally understood the limits of longevity.

As a child, dancing with him to the oom-pa-pah music in the German restaurant we frequented in those precious early days...my feet on his.

He carried me, lifted me, and we twirled.

There are few safer feelings in life, for me.

Last hug I got from him was the best, unforgettable. Not sure if for the beautifully-stubborn strength in his weakening arms, not sure if he (or I) knew it would be the last...

or just that it was what it was.

Strong, beautiful, lasting.

This is the fourth Father's Day since he died, and as I've done for the past three years, couldn't wait to begin thumbing (my way) through the photo album I put together in the days after, my favorite pictures and moments of him. Heart-on-sleeve kind of man he was...and even better, never apologetic for it. Proud of it, in fact.

Everything is finite...the tangible, that is.

I'm thankful memories are what they are, and not a sense. But oh how imprints on the senses remain.

Love you, dad. Thank you.

[brianlux]

All Five Horizons

(all the precious moments)

Easiest one to begin with - touch.


From him holding me close to the point of "jeez, dad!" - embarrassed and at those awkward ages, too quick to shrug him off. But bless him, always over-hugged with his love, pride. Extra squeezes.

He did this from when I was a child to adult.

As an adult, I reveled in it - finally understood the limits of longevity.

As a child, dancing with him to the oom-pa-pah music in the German restaurant we frequented in those precious early days...my feet on his.

He carried me, lifted me, and we twirled.

There are few safer feelings in life, for me.

Last hug I got from him was the best, unforgettable. Not sure if for the beautifully-stubborn strength in his weakening arms, not sure if he (or I) knew it would be the last...

or just that it was what it was.

Strong, beautiful, lasting.

This is the fourth Father's Day since he died, and as I've done for the past three years, couldn't wait to begin thumbing (my way) through the photo album I put together in the days after, my favorite pictures and moments of him. Heart-on-sleeve kind of man he was...and even better, never apologetic for it. Proud of it, in fact.

Everything is finite...the tangible, that is.

I'm thankful memories are what they are, and not a sense. But oh how imprints on the senses remain.

Love you, dad. Thank you.

Nice! Yet another side of the ever-so-talented Hedonist. Good job, H!

[hedonist]

Nice! Yet another side of the ever-so-talented Hedonist. Good job, H!

Thank you, Brian!

[hedonist]

OK...I'm a huge fan of Judge Judy and People's Court. I love those women for their common sense. They may be compassionate, but also refuse to be bullshitted. And they know the law, always applied without bias.

Anyway, earlier I was watching Millian...it was a case of a mother being sued by her son over some wedding bullshit - seemed like a fucked up relationship all over the place. But Millian said (to paraphrase) that to see how your husband will treat you as your marriage goes on, observe how he treats his mother...that is the true indicator.

(I'd also say look at how they treat waitstaff - I hate that word; seems sniffy, but it suffices here - I guess, how they treat others in general.)

I am so fucking blessed to live this life with a man who (despite I'm sure gave her his share of shit growing up) ultimately treated his mother with respect, candor, kindness, humor...with himself.

And as the lovely judge said, "Once this gorgeousness (sweeping motion around her face) is gone, he'll still be there for me".

Much like how I feel

[rollings]

All Five Horizons

(all the precious moments)

Easiest one to begin with - touch.


From him holding me close to the point of "jeez, dad!" - embarrassed and at those awkward ages, too quick to shrug him off. But bless him, always over-hugged with his love, pride. Extra squeezes.

He did this from when I was a child to adult.

As an adult, I reveled in it - finally understood the limits of longevity.

As a child, dancing with him to the oom-pa-pah music in the German restaurant we frequented in those precious early days...my feet on his.

He carried me, lifted me, and we twirled.

There are few safer feelings in life, for me.

Last hug I got from him was the best, unforgettable. Not sure if for the beautifully-stubborn strength in his weakening arms, not sure if he (or I) knew it would be the last...

or just that it was what it was.

Strong, beautiful, lasting.

This is the fourth Father's Day since he died, and as I've done for the past three years, couldn't wait to begin thumbing (my way) through the photo album I put together in the days after, my favorite pictures and moments of him. Heart-on-sleeve kind of man he was...and even better, never apologetic for it. Proud of it, in fact.

Everything is finite...the tangible, that is.

I'm thankful memories are what they are, and not a sense. But oh how imprints on the senses remain.

Love you, dad. Thank you.

I missed this one before

very beautiful

[rollings]

OK...I'm a huge fan of Judge Judy and People's Court. I love those women for their common sense. They may be compassionate, but also refuse to be bullshitted. And they know the law, always applied without bias.

Anyway, earlier I was watching Millian...it was a case of a mother being sued by her son over some wedding bullshit - seemed like a fucked up relationship all over the place. But Millian said (to paraphrase) that to see how your husband will treat you as your marriage goes on, observe how he treats his mother...that is the true indicator.

(I'd also say look at how they treat waitstaff - I hate that word; seems sniffy, but it suffices here - I guess, how they treat others in general.)

I am so fucking blessed to live this life with a man who (despite I'm sure gave her his share of shit growing up) ultimately treated his mother with respect, candor, kindness, humor...with himself.

And as the lovely judge said, "Once this gorgeousness (sweeping motion around her face) is gone, he'll still be there for me".

Much like how I feel

True Love

[hedonist]

It's a good love.

Thank you, lovely writer