when i...

[catefrances]

his voice scratches as he sings
stretched across his broken heart
something goin' on inside
but they all dont see it
his deep sad is what they like
yeah they see that alright

falling down trying to get up
he takes his leave
through the back door
heavy metal in his hand

seen from behind walking
his head down, his mind dark
rests a while, his back against a decaying fence
life comes down to moments they say
and this is one of them
his body expels a heavy sigh
as a dark night descends upon his soul

[catefrances]

you are everything
you are nothing
you are my breath
the hand that chokes
the whispers i hear
are delusions i wrought
you are
everything
everything now
that im not.

[rollings]

Always enjoyed your writing

[catefrances]

Always enjoyed your writing

gracias

[catefrances]

id see it in your eyes
if there was anything to see
a vacant stare looks back at me
as if i wasnt there
i wonder if theres anything
inside that skull so hard
or if all that youre thinking
if youre thinking at all
has been programmed from the start
of a life already chosen
subdued and meaningless
to stand upon the sidelines
be a spectator, not a thief
of the existence laid out before you
to learn to live again
to be what it is that you want
to say anything without a care
so while youre standing there
dreaming of what i do not know
close you fingers make a fist
and tell them where to go
youre gonna do it your way
there is no other way
tell them they can walk beside you
or get the fuck out of the way
cause you wont do what they want
you dont hear the words they say
they dont know you and they never will
so dont forget to remind them
youre gonna do it your way
cause there is no other way

[catefrances]

candy says she can walk away anytime
but i dont believe her
ive seen that look she gets in her eye
she likes it all just a little too much

candy says she can walk away anytime
but she sits there making no move
she gives me that smile that says
she likes it all just a little too much

candy says shes in control
even though she knows shes not
she needs the cash and what it can buy her
and we all can just go to hell

[catefrances]

in socks she spins across the floor
looking to obliviate her surrounds
half empty wine glass in her hand
she remembers when it was half full
yeah she knows regrets are just lessons not yet learned.
but still the hurtings begun
she doesnt need a reason to think he aint ever coming back
she can hear the thunder far off
the music in her head not words unsaid
is what truly breaks her heart
in socks she spins across the floor
crying out his name

[catefrances]

dear lola,
i kissed thurston moore last night.


thought you didnt do musicians?

[catefrances]

tis only booze that gives me courage
to say what it is i think
but tis cause of booze i cant
so i step away and think
what it is i want to say
'bout what it is i feel
and should i wait til morning
to gauge my honesty

theres so many words eating me
that i think you need to hear
but then i pause and wonder
how much i can afford for you to hear
you never seem to wonder
where it is i am
you never ask the questions
i think you need to ask
i sit and ponder many things
but mostly youre in my thoughts
and theres never any doubt what id do
given the opportunity..

.. and so i make myself small
try to conserve my energy
and hope what it is i feel for you
doesnt kill me in the end.

[donnaruhl]

Nothing like standing naked to the world. With your thoughts,Your emotions running wild.And sober isn't easy,But it's a start in the right direction. Nice Poem.

[catefrances]

gracias

[catefrances]

she closed the door behind her as he smiled at her entrance. she managed a weary smile in return.

so why am i here?

he held her gave and sighed.

i want you here

and what about what i want?

and what is it you want?

she crossed the room to the bed in 3 tentative steps. reaching out she took his hand in hers and perchd herself on the white linen.

i dont want to share you... thats what i want

he opened his mouth to say something, but the look on her face silenced him.

this situation isnt new to me. but that doesnt mean i can handle it any better. and im not prepared to do it again, so you need to sort yourself out or lose my number cause it doesnt matter how i feel about you i will walk away if you cant give me what i need.

shed swear she could see his brain ticking over. his brow was furrowed and his eyes had that far away look he got when he was thinking of her.

and i need to know that you need me in your life... that im not just there for distraction

are you kidding me? ive been right with you since that first night.

but not wholly. there was distance there.. i could feel it.

sure i was weary. considering what youd just been through do you blame me? was i suppose to scoop you up in my arms and deliver you from all the badnes? is that what you wanted from me?

i want you to help me forget. i tried to do it alone but i cant. i want someone i love to help me

she couldnt suppress the smile forming on her lips. and answering the question before she spoke it he reached out touching her face with his fingers.

i do love you. i ahve since i left.. well before i left

and thats why you left?

he nodded.

youre an idiot you know that?

yeah i know it

she stood up and walked over to the window. the sky had closed in and she could see the threat of rain. she hoped it would rain. he watched her waiting for an answer, though he hadnt asked a question, not specifically anyway. after a few minutes she turned to face him.

i want you to move to LA. if we have any chance we need to be in the same city

can you wait til i get discharged?

[donnaruhl]

his voice scratches as he sings
stretched across his broken heart
something goin' on inside
but they all dont see it
his deep sad is what they like
yeah they see that alright

falling down trying to get up
he takes his leave
through the back door
heavy metal in his hand

seen from behind walking
his head down, his mind dark
rests a while, his back against a decaying fence
life comes down to moments they say
and this is one of them
his body expels a heavy sigh
as a dark night descends upon his soul

Damn!That's good.

[catefrances]

his voice scratches as he sings
stretched across his broken heart
something goin' on inside
but they all dont see it
his deep sad is what they like
yeah they see that alright

falling down trying to get up
he takes his leave
through the back door
heavy metal in his hand

seen from behind walking
his head down, his mind dark
rests a while, his back against a decaying fence
life comes down to moments they say
and this is one of them
his body expels a heavy sigh
as a dark night descends upon his soul

Damn!That's good.

thank you.

[catefrances]

it had been several months since he had made the move and still he was like a visitor in her home. she tried not to watch him and when the silences got too heavy she instinctly reached out and laid her hand against his skin. he would always smile and draw her into his arms. and for a while theyd stay entangled until more often than not hed doze off. in the beginning hed wake up with a start and once managed to split her lip with his bony elbow. the level of remorse he showed at hurting her made her heart ache. it was as if it was the worst thing he could ever do to her. and she knew that wasnt true. it was just an accident she reassured him. for a time after that incident hed been more attentive to her yet a bit more cautious as well and more than once she wished hed split her lip more often, accidently of course if the result was an overwhelming guilt that semi shocked him into being more alive. yet even with his melancholia his presence in the house gave her peace.