Let's Get Creative

[pandora]

omg that looks like me! karma.....

[pandora]

anybody inspired by this unusual picture with a history?

[acrossssSsssshittt]

anybody inspired by this unusual picture with a history?

I hold my breath everytime I gaze into this picture Pandora... whether I've got words to put out is another question, but it's good for my head...

it's like heaven beyond hell...

it reflects my thoughts, so thank you : )

[pandora]

anybody inspired by this unusual picture with a history?

I hold my breath everytime I gaze into this picture Pandora... whether I've got words to put out is another question, but it's good for my head...

it's like heaven beyond hell...

it reflects my thoughts, so thank you : )

thats a very good way to describe it ..."it's like heaven beyond hell..."
when I saw it I felt it told a story, more so then many paintings

[StillHere]

when am i
where
it sounds like
alone
i don't think so
mamaaa...mamaaaa
what's happening
its' all gone
i used to play here
i think this is...
no, definitely not
so what's wrong
this is not exactly true
is it?
its time...time
need a little time
nothing to worry about
i wish things
could stay the same
if nothing changed
the important
the beautiful
seasons change
colors bloom
the rain comes
new life
a watering hole
or
metamorphosis
it happens all the time
but i've got this
work to finish
first

[acrossssSsssshittt]

when am i
where
it sounds like
alone
i don't think so
mamaaa...mamaaaa
what's happening
its' all gone
i used to play here
i think this is...
no, definitely not
so what's wrong
this is not exactly true
is it?
its time...time
need a little time
nothing to worry about
i wish things
could stay the same
if nothing changed
the important
the beautiful
seasons change
colors bloom
the rain comes
new life
a watering hole
or
metamorphosis
it happens all the time
but i've got this
work to finish
first

"I wish things
could stay the same

...seasons change"

a very real feeling... nice

[acrossssSsssshittt]

for some reason this brings something out of me,....

I wonder if he'll come
I hope he comes
It's been long
He'll have grown big... by now
bet he's a good man

huh ... wonder if he looks like me
... hope he wears a better suit than I do
I'll buy him one

I should order somethin
hope he's hungry
..should've asked his mother what he likes to eat

huh...

man I fucked up
the things I've done
what have I done

forgive me my son

[StillHere]

i can't even remember
her face
i've tried
oh god how
i've tried
its fuzzy
oh so fuzzy now
its been so long
maybe too long
she's gone
we had a good life
can't complain
but why
i don't know why
i let them go
they were my
children
my children too
when she went
i just couldn't be
just couldn't
look
at their faces
too much of
her
in them
they don't know
how could they
i never told
i never could
i should have
should have
should have what?
confessed that
my life was over
she was dead
and my life was
over?
they couldn't have
understood
and now
how would they
now
so many years
so many tears
no one knows
no ones seen
least of all
them

here i sit
alone
old
so so lonesome
i guess i always
meant to fix it
someday
maybe someday's
now too late
sorry
so sorry
sorry for
myself
not right
no..not right
i should be
sorry for them
yes, for them
i only wish
i could have
been a man
the man i
wanted to be
the man
they wanted me
to be
been a father
been their dad
i could have called
even after so long
i could have tried
harder
maybe they'd listen
maybe they'd understand
my reasons
reasons for what?
abandoning them?
i'm too old
too tired
and just too damned old
now
it's too damned
late

[StillHere]

Yes I remember peace, hearts, goodness
My eyes are the eyes of the old
Yet my spirit is frozen somewhere
In my youth
A juvenile
Delinquent
A puerile impetuous young man
I could tell you exactly where
Exactly where I left it
In a restaurant on valentines day 1996
The day a young man
Terrified
Ran from his own mother
Fleeing demons, real demons
To be trapped
Or rescued?
By a stranger
'Your mum is looking for you son'
She is pleading, weeping
At her wits end'
Please come back
To be rescued by an ambulance?
To be pinned down
And revived in a hazy corridor
Of fleeting shadows, of melted faces
Of friends faces merging into distant pasts and futures of unspeakable horror
Of a bunch of flowers on a waiting room table
Of a terrified mother and father
As I described the looping vision of cartoony exploding flowers, showers
As I shouted, shouted
'Please please don't do this to me, you are evil, pure evil'
As I was locked away.

And this is as far back as I can go in safety right now
Let's cut to later
And I'm exactly halfway through my years
If I'm lucky
And I'm bringing myself close to tears
And I'm eating poached eggs with ketchup
And they're going cold
And I wish I could be old
As my years

OMG so powerful
so full of hard earned truth
makes my heart ache
remembering

wonderful work.
you always take me there
whether or not
"There"
is a place i want to see

Thank you for that

may peace find you
jo

[tremors]

Ready?

Keep your wits about you
Keep your shit together
Keep your stuff close
'Cause no-one knows the hour
It's gonna come
And you are really just going to have to
GO

[tremors]

There's some great stuff developing in this thread. So much to comment on, digest, think about, praise - the paintings- is that your work Pandora? Either way it's fantastic. AcrossOceans your words seem to be coming clearer and clearer (to me).

Pandora, you should save that Buddha into your avatar. I think you've been eddie clapping for far too long now!!

Thanks still-here. Sometimes when I write like that I feel a bit of a 'cheat' - it's kind of easy to evoke something by just stating some brutal facts Anyway, it is what it is

[StillHere]

Ready?

Keep your wits about you
Keep your shit together
Keep your stuff close
'Cause no-one knows the hour
It's gonna come
And you are really just going to have to
GO

scary! absolutely terrifying..
really

[tremors]

Ready?

Keep your wits about you
Keep your shit together
Keep your stuff close
'Cause no-one knows the hour
It's gonna come
And you are really just going to have to
GO

scary! absolutely terrifying..
really

I know, it just scared the crap out of me too.

I think I need to try and be a bit kinder, bit less cruel, for a while (tho it's a cruel wild world out there)

When I wrote that I was thinking of my past, thinking of parts of the bible, and also the feelings right now. When I read it back though it reminded me of the work I did in homeless shelters with youth and with women over many years. Not really a subject matter I would want to write about if I'm trying to be kinder

[pandora]

I just got back here to see all this now and I am crying,
Sorry I must be easy today but this really warms my heart.
All the outpouring of emotion, souls open to each other
creating, sharing, conversing, understanding.
Thank you all so much.
I too am gonna read back through all this wonderment
and digest it.
Makes me feel at home,
to come here and and read these words
Its really a hard thing to explain, I don't feel alone.
I feel full of all your thoughts and it feels really good.

[StillHere]